Stay At Home Moms Rock!
Stay at home moms are great. In our modern day society that only sees worth coming in day jobs that bring home the bucks the stay at home mom is becoming rarer and rarer. But, at what cost and is it really worth it?
I've herd the cost argument many times and there are two sides to it. One side says that a mom who stays at home with her kids is giving up the use of her talents. Some even go so far as to say the use of her talents to make something of herself in this world. The other side is focused on that child, what will happen to that child, and the joy of the mother with that child. The question is which cost is worth it and why?
My view has been definitely shaped by my mom. She was that stay at home mom who has many talents and is outstandingly smart. Why did she stay at home? Have you ever seen a mom who has to leave her baby for that first time to go back to work? Maybe you have been that mom. In my experience she doesn't want to leave. There is a connection I don't think men can understand. My mom didn't want to leave and she didn't.
But, at what cost? She could have worked more and made money. My parents could have afforded a bigger house. Nicer vacations. Bigger TVs. Nicer cars. I could go on but you get the point. The question that plagues me with this kind of thinking is when is it enough? How much of the dollar is sufficient? If it's about making money for stuff is there ever enough?
At the same time she didn't become a slave to the money but became free to pursue some happiness. She had the opportunity to be there when my sisters and I spoke. When we crawled. When we walked. When we did sports or danced (my sister that is). When we achieved she was there to celebrate it with us. She wasn't to busy for our lives. When we failed she was there to comfort us. She wasn't to busy to support us. Instead of chasing the dollar she chased us around which was without a doubt much more worth wild.
While I am on the topic of cost there is the cost to the children for those working moms. What happens to those kids whose moms work all day? When the moms get home at night there are things to care for around the house. There are things to take care of in the marriage. Where is the time for the kids? It's there at a very reduced amount which leads to a large problem in our society today. Kids feel unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. At the same time they aren't learning all those important things that many of their parents take for granted. The kids get left out in the cold.
Don't take my word for this. Start reading the studies on kids today. For example, you will learn that your average teenager doesn't feel desired in a day they don't get a phone call or text message. What is coming out of the secular and Christian studies tends to agree and it points to kids feeling unwanted, unloved, and unimportant. This leads to them acting out or closing up. This leads to them not chasing after many of the greatest things in life (which doesn't include the dollar). It leads to them hurting a lot of the time rather than feeling the joy of life.
Stay at home moms can often solve this. They are there to teach kids all those little things. They are there to support those kids. They are there to love those kids as they grow and and teach them how to love others. Day care doesn't teach that. By the time they spend with their kids they show that the kids are important. They show the kids that people are important and more important than money.
My mom is a great example of child raising being an opportunity for her to use her talents. She used those skills to raise us. We were a challenge that required learning a lot. She stepped up with her talents.
In no way do I mean for child raising to be just about the moms. The dads should definitely be involved as I have blogged about before. And, I understand that in this messed up world there are women who want to stay at home with their kids but have to work to support their families. This isn't about taking away from anyone else.
Basically, I am saying that the stay at home mom rocks! They are not something to be looked down on. They aren't in a position they should have to justify. They aren't giving up the opportunity to make something of themselves.
If you know a stay at home mom say a prayer of thanks for her. Give her a pat on the back (or butt if your her husband). Say some words of appreciation. They have one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs on the planet. Raising the next generation is no easy job, they take it seriously, and put their talents to something that truly is worth wild.
Comments
#1 Yes..stay at home moms do
Yes..stay at home moms do rock, but why can't we support ALL moms and say that they rock too. Isn't the single mom who is the only breadwinner deserving of our praise? Instead of "mommy wars", women should support each other...we all want the best for our children. The argument in the article above does not take into account many factors. This kind of article results in women pitted against women....and for what?? What about a stay at home dad?
#2 Did you read the post?
Did you read the whole post? While it was focused on stay at home moms I lightly addressed it's relation to working moms. And, for dads I linked to where I have blogged about them before.
It's not posts like this that make mommy wars. It's people looking for a war to fight.
I am all about praising the stay at home mom here. It's not about anything else nor is it about detracting from anything else. Stay at home moms rock!
#3 Your blog suggests that the
Your blog suggests that the world is "messed up" and that moms who want to stay home cannot.Again,what about praising ALL moms...?? Your blog is biased and even though it does not directly put down those who work, it certainly implies and infers that stay at home moms have children who are better served. There are stay at home moms and working moms out there that do not do a good job rearing children. Neither staying home or working outside the home determines how well a child is raised. Although your blog praises stay at home moms, it neglects to praise all moms...sadly.
#4 Not All Moms Deserve Praise
Not all moms deserve praise. There are a lot that do a terrible job.
For example, there is that working mom who works 40-50 hours a week. Her husband works, too. At night she comes home and she and her husband share the work around the house. While they are at work the kids are in day care or are caring for themselves. When they are at home they are too busy with other things for those kids.
They can afford for her not to work but they couldn't have all the 'nice' things they do on one income. That mom, and in fact both parents, don't deserve praise. They are putting money and stuff ahead of raising their kids, showing them love, and really being parents. Sadly, I know a lot of people who are like that. This does not deserve praise. Not all moms deserve praise. Not all dads deserve praise.
I call this world messed up because it is. If your Christian you can point out the sin. If your not read the secular studies on kids. Because of how they are being raised most kids feel physically or emotionally abandoned. They often have both parents in the house but feel abandoned. Their parents... their moms don't deserve the praise.
Those moms who give up all kinds of selfish things they can chase to work at raising, loving, teaching, and being there for their kids deserve praise because they rock.
#5 Yes, GOOD moms rock!
It is really unfair to criticize mothers who work. As a teacher, I have the best of both worlds. I am home every minute with my 2nd grade daughter when she is home; I have holidays and summers off. I am not selfish. And, I am not putting down stay at home moms as you are working moms. My best friend is a stay at home mom. It is a choice. More defines a woman than being a mother, although I do feel that being a mother (parent) is my most important job. Families are not a one size fits all.And yes...all GOOD moms deserve praise...you totally missed my point in that there are good and bad parents in both situations. Yes, I am a Christian. And, as a teacher of high school students, I do see some kids who feel abandoned. I am taking offense to your reply because you are sterotyping working moms. And, the money I bring home adds taking vacations 3 0r 4 times a year with my daughter, great times we have as a family and great memories for her. She is first in our lives and she does not feel abandoned. Again, not everyone lives the same way, the way perhaps you feel they should. And, as a Christian working mom, I take my child to church every Sunday, awana, etc. and both my husband and I are wonderful parents because we choose to be. So, yes, stay at home moms and working moms rock. Why is it that I see it both ways and you choose to take a one sided view?
#6 Hold Up
Hold up just a minute. I don't know your situation and I haven't criticized you. In my previous comment example it wasn't of working mothers. It was of working mothers who are in a situation they don't have to work but choose to for the money. This doesn't fully encompass all working mothers or working people.
If you go back to my original post you'll see I am not trying to take away from working moms.
Do you have something you feel bad about? I see from the start of your comments you were being defensive and I keep seeing speak to this from a point of view I am directly trying not to convey. Do you personally have something that you feel bad about? Something you feel you have to defend?
You do make a point with the teacher part and being home when you kids are home. That is great. But, when you are home how is your time spent? Is it spent with your kids and your husband or is it spent taking care of things around the house? Is it spent on other things? I don't want an answer but it's something to think about.
Maybe your kids don't feel abandoned but that is the sad norm in western cultures. It's sad, most parents don't realize it, and the experts are screaming it from the roofs.
#7 Thanks!
Thanks for clearing this up.Perhaps I misunderstood your side of things. And, I will answer your question; My husband and I do spend time together with our daughter every chance we get. I have someone clean my house once a week so that I am not spending evenings and weekends doing these tasks. No, there is nothing I feel bad about. I just ran across your blog and felt as if you were being one-sided and sterotypical. I do agree that there are many kids who are left to themselves. I see this at the high school level. I just don't think that moms who work should feel guilty, because there are so many different situations. And, I do think it is okay if a mom wants to work to fulfill other parts of her life. I absolutely love teaching English. This is something I would not want to give up.
Again, thanks for your candor. I now understand what you are saying.
In God's love,
Denise
#8 thank you
Thank you for praising stay at home moms. It is not an easy thing to do. Stay at home moms are underappreciated and underpraised in comparison to our conterparts who bring home a paycheck. I am a stay at home mom of six. I worked outside the home for a short period of time and can definitely say that it is much easier to work outside the home. You can be around adults all day, the environment is quieter, the pay is much better, and the labor is less exhausting. We go against society and are looked down upon by many including some family members. I can not imagine missing the first smile, first word, being there to comfort the first boo boo, the first song. These are all priceless things that do not last very long. Staying at home with your children is a very noble profession and there is nothing wrong with a little praise once in a while among the diapers, dishes, and naptime stories.
#9 Being independent is important
To Missy...so what happens if your husband leaves you or dies? How will you support yourself and your children? This does happen and often to women who do not get a college degree and go out to earn a living. Just curious. You might want to read THE FEMININE MISTAKE. As women we cannot depend on a man to support us forever. Working outside the home is not for everyone, but something to think about.
#10 Saying Yes
Last weekend I took a pre-marriage class. One of the things they taught, which I believe to be true, is that if divorce is part of your vocabulary than it will become a high possibility.
Planning from the start for the situation of a divorce is entering into marriage in a manner that doesn't take it seriously. This isn't something just for the husband or wife but for both in the marriage.
So, it comes down to saying yes. When a woman says yes to a mans proposal she needs to know he is a good man who will take marriage seriously and not have divorce as a possibility.
Now, this puts a lot of ownership on men to make marriage a life long commitment. Women cannot let men fall short on this before marriage. Give in hoping he will change. If he isn't that kind of guy they need to let him know that and say NO until he is that kind of guy.
The Feminine Mistake talks about a way to approach the situation but it's on that's planning for the worst rather than making an effort and commitment for the best. It's the non-ideal situation and one that will likely lead to divorce.
#11 Being Independent and a realist
Women need to be independent and realistic. Look at the divorce rate...Just because you go into a marriage with the best intentions does not mean it will work out. Women need to be able to support themselves. My dad taught me this, and he and my mom have been married 40 years. I don't think many people go into marriage thinking they will divorce. Often times, the woman who has no means of support suffers, along with her children. Your theory sounds good, but not realistic, noting the divorce rate today and the women and their children who are left without support when the woman does not have an education and a means to support herself. I certainly don't want to live my life feeling insecure about this happening. I've been married for 20 years and have a wonderful marriage. But I always know I can support myself if it does not work out...that is just being responsible.
#12 another option
First, I think when a woman says Yes to a marriage proposal she needs to look very seriously at the character of the guy. Will he support her no matter what? I am not just talking financially. Will he support their kids? Will he be there being a father no matter what? If the answer isn't yes than she should say no, even if she loves him.
One option is for a woman to plan for the case scenario where there is a divorce and she is left out in the cold. But, I see a few flaws with doing it this way. First, in order to do so you need two working parents. This means that 2 things will suffer to hold on to this backup option. They are the level of happiness the marriage is capable of and the raising of the children. This isn't a matter of desire but a matter of logistics. Two working parents do not have the same amount of time to dedicate to the marriage and the kids as does a marriage with a stay at home mom. This isn't a matter of desire but a matter of logistics.
At the same time, the husband would most certainly know that her reason for keeping the job is in case he left her. What does that show of trust in him? It doesn't and that right there is affecting the marriage in a negative way. Having that lack of trust over the years builds up in a guy. Trust me, I work with guys who talk about these things. They see it in their marriages.
Now, the independence angle is another one to approach. And, it depends on your view of marriage. Often times we treat marriage as intimate roommates. Two individuals who live together, get intimate, and raise kids together.
I go a different way with marriage. True marriage is a binding of two lives together. It requires opening up lives to the intimate and personal areas. It combines two lives into one that they go through together. It's not two individuals anymore but one married couple. Sadly, I think this is lacking in our society.
Now, there is another option that I would see taking. Statistically it's the happier and more likely to produce a long lasting happy marriage option. If I were going to make a plan would I plan for that rainy day scenario where actually planning for it leads down it or would I plan and put my effort into the scenario that puts the odds of divorce at 1 in over 3000 (that's a divorce rate of smaller than .0003%)? I would go with the latter.
This path, if you haven't learned it is a Christian path. Not just any Christian path. It's two committed Christians who attend church almost weekly, study the bible together often, pray together often, and are committed Christians in their lifestyle.
We can try it mans way. But, that has a tendency to lead to divorce. Or, we can have real faith in God, do it his way, and reap the benefits.
#13 Male Insecurity perhaps?
Clearly you see it from a male perspective. The men you speak about whose wives work and they feel this way must have a lot of insecurity within themselves. It is really a generalization to say that the best marriages are those where the woman stays a home. There is not a one size fits all for every family. Some men (not my husband of 20 years) see a woman's independence as threatening. Are these men wanting to keep the little wife home strapped with children? I once had a pastor whose wife was "not allowed to work" because he said if she were in the workplace, she could have an affair. I see it as strange that many men who feel this way, are so-called Christians.....hiding behind the "Biblical teachings."
There is more to a woman than having children. Fundamentalist believers, however, want to oppress women because of their own insecurities. My husband and I both work and have a daughter. We are very happy. What works for one family may not work for another. Perhaps because you are unmarried, I am guessing, since you are taking pre-marriage classes, and you seem young, you have this view of how you want marriage to be. Why not have an independent wife who has her own interests? Why not respect the fact that she may want more than to stay home, or that she may want more for herself. A woman who goes into a marriage who can support herself in case of death or divorce is a smart woman who is looking out for herself AND her future children; this is just smart, not planning to fail, but not failing to plan. Look at our society and the women whose husbands die or divorce them and they are struggling to support children. Why not prepare? It is simply wise.
#14 Independence is a problem
Independence is a problem by definition. According to Random Houses unabridged dictionary independence is "freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others." This in a marriage is bad for a husband or a wife. Marriage should not be about independence. It should a bonding of two lives into one and not two independent people living together.
Fundamentalist believers don't want to oppress women. Sadly, in this conversation people often talk past each other in trying to win an argument. I think this misunderstanding comes from where the end goal is at. You pointed out that women should be free to work. What makes work the end goal that we are in bondage from? What makes a job that makes money in this corporate America that thing we need freedom to seek? I used to look at it this way, too, until I had conversations with several moms. They talked about the freedom to not have to work.
They went on to explain how sad they see this world when they see a place where working is such a high priced end goal. Where women who don't work are looked down upon as not seeking after what they should or being all they could be. But, what makes working that end goal? Why do we look at it as bondage from having to work? These are a couple questions they asked me. Several told me how freeing it was to be able to really dedicate themselves to their children. They were able to do it in a way they couldn't have done if they had worked.
Another side of the story is one that I have recently become familiar with. I've had the opportunity to talk to a number of people who grew up in homes where both parents worked. The kids felt and experienced something very different from what I knew. Some aren't nearly as close to their parents as I have been lucky enough to be. Most of them talked about the things they weren't able to do because their parents didn't have time to support them in it. One girl told be about how she couldn't go spend time with friends after school because her parents had to work. Another told me about how his parents weren't there to support him with his sports. They were at work. Another told me about how at night her parents were to busy spending time working around the house, cleaning, doing laundry, and stuff like that to sit down and spend time with her. This is really sad.
Sturdies are showing that kids are feeling abandoned by their parents and that many parents aren't seeing it. They are out of touch with their kids. Other studies are pointing out that there is a generation gap between kids through teens and their parents that is greater than any in recorded history.
How many moms are looking for 'freedom' to work rather than 'freedom' to really love and support their families?
I know a lot of women who want to take care of their homes, raise their children, stay at home, and support their husbands but feel that they are wasting their lives if that's what they do. Why is that? They have been told it their whole lives. Is it true? No.
Maybe this goes back to a problem in America. Most of the working class in America statistically doesn't like what they do for work. But, they feel they have to chase it or are stuck in it. This is both men and women. Why don't we reevaluate what we are doing? Maybe chase after our hearts real desires?
I recently had a conversation with a group of men about kids. I was a fly on the wall in the discussion. All the men were talking about how they spent too much time chasing something that wasn't rewarding and that they were to distant from their kids. Their families were who they desired to be with and hadn't even realized how distant they had gotten chasing something they branded as not worth wild. The hard part, they said, was really admitting it and then changing it. It's not just about women.
Marriage in America is a messed up thing. 40% of first marriages end in divorce. If you get divorced once you are highly likely to get divorced again (70%). Following the model of America is, statistically speaking, a model for an unhappy marriage. On the other side I have had great examples of marriage that are happy, loving, and exciting at 30, 40, 50, 60, and over 70 years of age. They have been these great biblical model marriages that are happy to the end. This is what I my fiance and I want. This is what we are chasing.
#15 Independence is not the problem
What is wrong with the man staying home and the woman working? Clearly, you see it from a different perspective. And, of course that is your right. However, you seem to make a blanket statement that you feel defines everyone. I do wish you the best in your upcoming marriage. And, as long as this lifestyle works for you, that is certainly what you should do. Because I am college educated (which I feel is highly important for both men and women) as well as most of my friends, I feel a woman is defined by more than a husband and children. I am a teacher and I get a great satisfaction from working with kids, and I am also teaching my daughter to enjoy her life through work and perhaps one day, a child. It is a choice to be made. If your fiance is happy staying at home, then that is what she should do. But again, this is not for all, and saying that ALL children are abandoned is really a generalization of all families, and certainly does not apply to all. I agree it is not all about women. But, there are some women who do not want to stay home. And, I say it is okay....independence does not mean one is not in a committed marriage. You see it differently. It is certainly a wonderful thing when couples have interests outside of thier marriage. For example, my husband loves to golf; I don't. What is wrong with that? Many women lose their sense of self when they don't have their own interests. Just something to think about.The point being, you cannot judge all families and say that your way is the best.
#16 What defines someone?
I think one of the toughest problems we deal with is what defines us. Many stay at home moms think it's their husbands. Many husbands think it's their wives. Some people think it's their kids. A whole lot of people try to define themselves by their job.
Yet, I don't think a stay at home mom should literally stay at home all the time. The opportunity to not work opens the door to do other things. Maybe help the hurting. Serve others. There are so many possibilities that open up.
But, can someone really define themselves? I don't think so. Can a doorknob define itself? No. Can a door define itself? Nope. Can a computer program define itself? No, again. This idea I am getting at is that something that is created cannot define itself. We are created and therefore cannot define ourselves. So, what does define us? One of the things I have learned about in engineering is that the designer defines the creation. So, it's God that defines us. Not our spouse, not our kids, and not our job. I think this is an important distinction. When we stop trying to define ourselves and live what we were designed to be life is easier because it's how we were designed and built to be.
Now, I don't try to define what a good marriage is based on how i feel. I think this is where a lot of people go wrong. They think what they feel is best for their family. Yet, the engineer in me looks for more. And, I have been learning more like like about gender roles (you can read some more here).
Or, what W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociologist from the University of Virginia, found in his research. That women who believe that men and women should split the household responsibilities and income earning in the family found that they were personally happier when the husband made the lions share of the income and they took care of the house.
It's some things like these that have taught me to not trust feelings on this. Analysis (which I absolutely love) often shows that how we believe things should be is fairly different from what makes us happy.
Could this be because we feel things should be different than what our purpose is?
I don't think that all parents are out of touch with their kids. It's not even about what I think or feel. There are an overwhelming amount of studies coming out that point to these things, they talk about how they can be observed, and even talk about why they are happening. Oh, and they all pretty much seem to agree. This isn't my opinion. This is the observation of experts who study this stuff.
#17 SPIN
Your argument is simply spin...you say a whole lot without really saying anything at all. Rather than using studies to back up your point, why don't you base your argument on the merit of the issue at hand. It is really easy to quote studies to back up your opinion. People do "studies" all of the time. I am certain I could find studies that produce the opposite results. "Women are personally happier when their husbands make the lion's share of the income"...bull...where in the world does this come from...fundamentalist belief perhaps. Sadly, many women will buy into this garbage when controlled by a spouse. I have seen it many times and no, I did not read it in a study by an expert. The world I live in is much different. But you make your argument with "studies" to try to prove your side. This is a sexist comment that you really believe. Go ahead and quote your so-called experts....you refuse to see the other side. This narrow-minded approach does not offer any insight to the issue. Thanks God there are good men out there who do not fear a woman's independence. I will not be commenting on your blog again.
#18 teaser
Hold up. I never said I feared a womans independence. I don't. But, I do look at how independence works in and on a marriage. I hope that someday you look at and even entertain some things that can be seen outside your own opinion. Some things that can be see under observation on marriages and studies of people. There is a lot that can be seen and many of the experts who study people have been surprised at what they have found. They have found that what works best and what makes people feel the happiest is often times not how they think things should be.
The part of me that is an engineer loves looking at this. Loves observing what happens, testing situations, seeing how the output changes. When experts do this with marriage and children they find some very interesting results that I think they are worthy of every spouse and parents reading. There is a lot to be learned.
The experts I look at are not sexist. They are not so-called but qualified researchers. They are simply observing people and pointing out what they observe. It may not fit with what you like or how you think things should be but how often do honest observations of ourselves show things that we like.
#19 Finding Our Purpose
I found this post extremely interesting, because you make a point that I think is so forgotten by many Christians. I've been reading a book by Miles Monroe entitled "Understanding the Purpose and Power of Women," and he makes a similar point. As Christians regardless of our denominations or how we interpret the Bible, we have the basic belief that God is our Creator. A Creator creates something for a reason. He has His own list of what role the creation will perform and how it will function, and what it would take for it to work the most effectively.
As you mentioned, we cannot define ourselves. We cannot decide what we were made for and what function we will take on. That's why we have user manuals for any piece of technology. When we don't know how something works, or what a certain button is for, we turn to the manual. I believe it is vital for us to turn to Bible as our manual for the real purpose of a Christian woman in a marriage, in the real purpose of a Christian man in a marriage, before the marriage takes place. And honestly, what we find might not be the most pleasant. It may even go against every emotion or intellectual idea we have.
For example, Paul says that women should respect their husbands, and men should love their wives as Christ loved the church-ready and willing to give his life for the woman. When men learn this, I'm sure some of them take a step back and say whoa,that'd be tough to do. Women may say the same thing. A strong-willed, independent woman will probably have a very hard time respecting a man who will inevitably fail and have shortcomings. But if you're a Christian desiring God's purpose, it's not about what feels the best. So, all of that to say, if we delve into the Word and discover that God's purpose for a woman is to be devoted to her family and serve others (check out Proverbs 31) and man's purpose is to provide for his family and be the protection over his family, even if that means working long, hard hours as a part of the fulfillment of their purpose, regardless of how it goes against what we feel, we must follow it.
However, because gave us free will, I believe He gives us the freedom to do whatever we love and desire within those boundaries. And I mean, we do have to be realistic. If every woman in the world quit their jobs to be stay at home wives and mothers, think about the percentage of teachers and nurses, predominantly women filled jobs, would be lost. Who would take care of the elderly in nursing homes? Who would teach children math and science and history, subjects which some women may not be proficient in? That's why I think it is first important to know what God has created us to do-that purpose which cannot be fought. Then, we can figure out use our talents, gifts, education and experience to fulfill that purpose.
#20 good thoughts
Those are some good thoughts. To add to that... women aren't moms with kids that need caring for their whole adult lives. Before kids and when kids don't need the care anymore is much of a womans life. A stay at home mom could easily do other things like nursing and teaching before and after raising those kids... just another direction.
#21 Undecided
I was just thinking how amazing it was that the topic of conversation led to where it did.
I came accross this letter when I searched for information on being a stay at home mom. I have been torn here latly about wether or not I should take on the role of full-time-mommy. So many things play a part in both aspects. I am currently a mother of a two year old girl (I had one year with her at home) and a full time teacher at a preschool. There was an incident where my daughter got out of the school and was in the parking lot of the D.Q. right next door. I thought that would be my deciding factor right there, yet I am still trying to come to a dicision.
I am reminded everyday about how I am with so many other children other than my own (I love my job). I am showing the way for all these other children who may not have anyone there, so I know I am needed.
But, Oh and its a big BUT, My child was given to ME for a reason, I do know that it is so hard to make it as a single income household, but I cry at the thought of someone else wathing my child all day I always want to go and watch her just interacting with others and learning about life and sercomstances. Although I applause those who have the strength to be apart from thier children, I cant help but feel that it is my place to guide my children the in the way of the Lord. I want my daughter to gain wisdome from one (out of two) of the people in her life that tuely love her more than anyone else can. I still dont know 100% which is the way to go, but I do know that my child is mine, and I want her to know that I choose to accept that role as a mother because I love her and want the best for her, and when she got out of the school it made me realize, no one, ever can replace that love that I have for her, and always have her best interest in mind. They just can't. As much as I also love my kids at school, its just not the same kind of love I have for my child that only I (and her daddy) can give to her, which is the motivation for her well being, and charicture development.
I just know that in the end I want to spend my time raising my daughter whom I love so deeply, and not trying so hard to guide other children but failing becuse I can not ultimatly replace their parents. I dont look down on any working mom, I know there great need for all of them out there. I just know where I belong and expressing it makes me sure of what I want.
Thank you for listening,
Decided! :)
#22 good
Your kids will be better because of your decision. Way to go.
#23 Stay at home moms do rock
Stay at home moms do rock but so do working moms. The main difference is that stay at home moms go unrecognized for their efforts by the paid work force. The problem, as I see it is that stay at home moms are not prepared for the time that they might have to go back to work themselves.
#24 emphasis
I think the overall emphasis put on a person being in the workplace and the emphasis on money is just generally over done. Money seems to be the gold standard of things in our society and generally work is how you get it.
So, work is held up as this high important thing. Yet, in the grand scheme of things there are things more important than both of these. And, they tend to get overlooked and unrecognized.
Not being prepared to go back to work is an issue. Yet, that doesn't mean it should be a real priority until it's time to go back to work. Making it a priority before then can and will deter from some of those more important things. Or, is a job really that important?
#25 Thank you so much for the
Thank you so much for the praise that you have given to us stay at home mothers. I am a wife and a mother of seven beautiful children ages 14,11,8,6,3,2,& 4 months, and it isn't a very easy job. My husband is a very excellent husband, father and provider, He too believes that the role of a stay at home mother is a very important part of the child's life.
My husband , and I both take raising our children to be young productive citizens very seriously, because a lot of children in today's society are missing a lot of value in their up bringing. I think that a lot of the other response that you were given from this blog kind of had a little misunderstanding in what you were trying to express, no offense to any of the readers, but what I think is that a lot of time the stay at home mother is misunderstood in our society. Lots of people think that it's a big issue if a mother decides to stay home a take care of their children, we are being judged without being heard... It's not that we don't have dreams, or have skills or degrees. It's about us deciding that some things in life like our children are first priority once we enter the world of being a parent. A stay at home mother is on her job just as a working mother is on her job.
#26 Join our society that will
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#27 Teach children to work
Many moms these days would prefer to encourage their kids to try working at an early age so that they will find a better future ahead. Some of us may remember that April 23rd is Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Take Your Daughter To Work Day is more accurately called Take Your Children To Work Day, as it is concurrently Take Your Son To Work Day as well. Most people would give payday cash advance loans to figure out why it only gets referred to taking the daughter to work, but that is a mystery for the ages. The annual event has been happening since the early 90s, as a method of showing children what a day in the life for their parent is like. Let us hope that Take Your Daughter to Work Day doesn't interfere with anyone's debt consolidation.