Biblical Masculinity - Part 2
Often when we talk about biblical masculinity the conversation turns to the roles of men and women. You know, the classic roles of men bringing home the bacon and women taking care of the house and raising the children. But is this really biblical? Is this really how God intended it?
The part I would like to zoom in on is child raising and the role of men. All too often the job gets put onto the women and the men don't take responsibility. In the Japaneses culture it is the women who raise the children and if the kids screw up the mother gets the blame. I used to wonder if this was the case until I read a number of studies on children and their fathers. Studies show that when fathers are absent from a child's life either physically or emotionally the child will have problems.
Going back to a mans role of headship it becomes fairly obvious of his role with his children. Being the head of the house he sets the tone for their lives and relationship with God.
Teaching Children
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 tells us teach our children about God and His commands. Whose job is it though? The fathers or mothers? Going through the bible I find that most of the passages are like Proverbs 4:1-5 and depict the father teaching the children.
This implies quite a bit. In order for a father to have the knowledge and understanding to pass on to his children he must have it himself. This means that fathers need to study the bible and they need to talk to their kids about it.
Leading Children
I often hear people say they are going to raise their kids in a way so their kids discover their own view of the world. So, they can go find what they want for themselves. The idea is very much not to pass on the view of the parents to the children. But, the bible offers us a very different point of view.
In verses like Genesis 18:19 we, as men, are directed to lead our families and households "to keep the way of the Lord". I really like this verse because it tells us how to do it. It says, "by doing what is right and just".
This means that a man cannot teach his sons to respect women while he is ogling over good looking women. This means a man cannot teach his kids to tithe while he give little to nothing to the church. I could go on with the examples, but you get the point. We need to lead by example.
While, these aren't the only ways that father are to be with their children they are two things that jumped out at me. I think I see these two because so many of the Christian men around me aren't like this. Doing these things is part of biblical masculinity that needs to be encouraged and cultivated.
Comments
#1 Parenting
It really gets to me when people say that they want to teach their kids to think for themselves and find their own way. While this should be an end result (say when they are 18 and moving out), this to me should not be a parents view while they are minors. Can you imagine what we all would have turned out like if our parents were patiently standing by and cheering on whatever we pursued!?!
I, for one, would be a wreck and would have imploded in on myself. Yes kids are smarter now and more exposed to everything, but they are not adult-minded. Our culture is fooled by this time and time again. They still need parents to guide them strongly. (supernanny even says that kids do better with structure and knowing what's expected of them!)
Your point about setting a good example is huge as well. It's a cliche but our actions really do speak louder then our words.
Men have a huge role in raising kids and you are right it's often overlooked. But the ultimate, and in my opinion God's plan, if for one man and one woman to guide a child using both of their specific gifts and demonstrate a united front.
#2 Wisdom
When it comes to kids they do know a lot more these days. But, they very much lack the wisdom to filter out the garbage and the wisdom to apply it in their own lives. This wisdom is something parents very much need to teach their kids.
I completely agree that raising kids is something between the father and mother. While I am writing a lot about the father and men in general that in no way means women have less of a role. I am just zooming in on the men. You wanna do some studying and zoom in on the women?
#3 Excellent
Matt, thanks for this series, it's excellent, please keep it up.
I'm digging here how you point out the fault in typical gender role perception. I pray that we find balance in this and avoid the errors of the past on the right and the errors of modern day feminists on the left.
#4 Thanks for the encouragement
Thanks for the encouragement.
If anyone has anything to add I would love to read it. This is something I am in no way an expert on. I just hope to become well versed enough on this stuff to help others. And, share what I learn so that others can have the info.