Increasing Masculinity At Church
In the last few years I have herd and read a lot about brining masculinity back to the church. The idea is that churches have become feminine, have lost the masculinity side, and need to get it back. There are books written that tackle this like Wild at Heart and No More Christian Nice Guy. There are blog posts written on this almost daily like this, this, and this.
The problem is there, it's driving men away from the church or turning them is to lesser versions of men, and I have to admit that it's happened in my own church. I'm not writing about this to complain about it. There is more than enough of that going on. I'm not writing about this to point it out. I think this is being pointed out all over the place these days. I am writing about this because I need your help.
The church I belong to is going to start to try and tackle this problem. Currently there are some subtle efforts going on but over the next year there are going to be some not so subtle efforts to bring men and masculinity back to the church.
This is a very touchie subject. Much of what's written out there seems to be either a rebellion from femininity and becomes macho rather than masculine or is masculinity from the view of femininity. While these can help get a church on the right track they are not on the right track themselves and will leave the masculinity point missed.
So, I am looking for ideas, suggestions, and even random thoughts on this. What can a ministry do to bring masculinity back? What should be taught to show men what God is calling men to be? (This is true masculinity) Where should the ministry leaders lead?
Comments
#1 MascuFeminiGodishJesus
Hey Matt,
Glad to see that you're in the mix of all of this. I actually started reading your blog just yesterday when I saw one of your comments on Cranach.
I've spent more time than I'd like to on this subject because of a class - but it really has helped me understand a little bit about the problem...
North Americans want to define Jesus. Jesus was relatively against being defined...or He was at least very selective about His "brand identity" while He was walking around Judea.
North Americans tend to think that sexuality/gender is a penultimate part of someone's identity. It may not be everything, but it's pretty much everything. That's why celibate people scare us.
So to give Jesus sexuality/gender is to make Him more palatable - but palatable on our own terms.
Ok...I've talked to long. Love the blog so far!
jW
#2 Gender in Hebrew
jW, thanks for your comment. I don't know if I would put this just onto North Americans but onto westerners. We do like to define Jesus. Some define Him as this mans man, others as buddy Jesus, many see Him as a brilliant teacher, and others (this is good) define Him as savior.
Though, as men and women I don't think we are to try to be like Jesus. We can't be. But, before anyone flips let me try to explain. Jesus is a perfect man and God. Jesus came here to be out savior and we aren't to be saviors. I think it was Paul that wrote that we are to follow the path God has for each of us. He doesn't expect us to be like Him. He does have a plan for us and that is what we should try to follow.
Back on the masculinity track. In Hebrew everything is a masculine or a feminine. The word for table carries a gender with it. In the bible God teaches that men and women are to have different roles and will even feel things differently. Psychology, sociology, and biology have all confirmed these differences. They are something to be embraced as part of Gods creation.
Over the past many years the church has embraced femininity more than masculinity. Masculinity is even, in many ways, under attack by forces in western culture. What I am looking for is ideas, thoughts, and suggestions on how to bring back more biblical masculinity in the church. Ways to embrace it, cultivate it, and help it grow.
#3 The Short Version
Ok, I wrote an entire comment on this yesterday...then I deleted it because I didn't feel like arguing :)
Here's the short version....
1. The church IS over feminized.
2. But, the "church" doesn't need to be made more masculine, it needs to be made more gender neutral.
2b. unfortunately, the current movement is a backlash to the feminine church, trying to make it more masculine, rather than trying to make it less feminine.
3. The parts of the church that are man centered should be made more masculine, while the feminine parts should remain feminine (womens ministry, mens ministry, elders (if you're in a church that only allows men as elders), etc...it should be a targeted effort if masculinity is the goal).
4. We can't confuse Jesus into this problem. On the earth, he was male, but in heaven, God is neutral...his bride should be both feminine and masculine as he made us, not one or the other.
Thats my 2 cents.
#4 ugh
The problem I am having is not the debate about the ins and outs of this. I was trying to avoid that. The problem that keeps creeping up is people talking about the problem. Often, they mean the same thing and are just stating things in different ways or people clarifying where there was lack of clarity.
The big question is the HOW? What to actually DO?
There is no question there is a backlash. That seems to be how we are as a people. But, what are the right things to DO? To teach?
Should the mens ministry teach about genuine biblical masculinity? If so, how much of the time should be spent on that? There are other important things that need to be taught.
In teaching these things are there any ideas on what to say, what examples to use, what material would be good to cover, and stuff like that? We are going to try to tackle this problem. The philosophical stuff has been talked about. We are trying to lead the men to be biblically masculine and get them involved. If this happens the scale will tip and we should, God willing, be closer to balance.
The question is in the How. That's where I need the advice and the help.
#5 Heading it off....
Yeah, I understand you're asking about the "how" of this....BUT, the reason you're not getting the answer is because people assume, by the language you use, that you will mis-apply the "how" to the entire church, not just to the men. It's because you say:
The idea is that churches have become feminine, have lost the masculinity side, and need to get it back.
If you rephrased it as:
The idea is that christian men have become feminine, have lost their masculinity and need to get it back...
Then, I think people would move onto the 'how'.
Once that's done, I think you need to define the problem more specifically....what do you mean by masculine? Give us some biblical references that you don't see being followed by the Christian men you've met. How do you see the men around you needing to embrace that more?
Elaborate a little bit on the types of things you see that are not masculine and need to change, and I have a feeling you'd get more of the answers you're looking for....
#6 next week
I'll post on that next week.
#7 The bottom line is that the
The bottom line is that the Church is like grade school teachers. It used to be male dominated, now it is hard to find a man amongst the grade school teachers. I know that the feminists wanted equal rights, but they kept pushing until now they dominated it. This is so typical of the female gender. Women respect a strong man that stands up to them. If we stand up to them, they will respect us. If we are weak, and behave in a feminine manner, they will not respect us. Stay strong.
There is a gender gap in the church. We need affirmative action programs in the female dominated churches to bring the men back. It is like in Norway. The men dominated the parliament, so they passed a law mandating equality.
Too many women just don't get it. They are responsible for driving the men out of the church. They should stop blaming the men and start acting like a man and assume responsibility for their failures.
Islam is a man's religion and appeals to men. In Europe, Islam is sweeping the continent and soon it will dominate Europe. What will happen in America? The women hold the key. If they do what is necessary to bring back the men(I suggest that they read St. Paul's writings, he wrote the Word of God, not of men) back, then Islam will not rule America, like they will in Europe.
#8 openings...
There doesn't seem to be appropriate means, methods or opportunities for men to be just men in church.
I think the best would be for the oversight/leadership of a church should create more volunteer staff opportunities for men to be active in the life of the church.
Which may mean also, that men take the initiative to create the opportunities for themselves.
i.e. sports ministries, political forums, debates, construction projects, compassionate volunteer projects, bible study groups etc...
Jaison J. Raju
#9 good ideas
Jason - these are some good ideas. I know that the men at my church tend to not be leaders and play the role of support staff to others when the are around. So, we have to teach the men to take an initiative and lead along with making the environment one where they can do that.
Also, since men see the church as a feminine place we need to change that image.
I think I will post again on this early next week. There is a lot more detail that will hopefully generate some ideas.
#10 A Couple Months Late
Matt,
I realize this was posted back in Feb, but I was intrigued by this topic. I hope things have been and are being sorted out in your church on this issue.
From what I read it’s sounded like the one question you need to ask before "how" is "what". What is real masculinity and what does it look like in our society. Wild at Heart portrayed masculinity as this rugged woodsmen type guy, but I know many men that will never fit into that mold.
Real masculinity will fit in the church seamlessly because men will be acting in their proper places. We don’t freaking need a church being gender neutral because none of us are gender neutral. I am a man damn it and I want women to be women. I don’t want us all to be the same or equal because we are not. Women have strength that men don’t have and men have strengths that women don’t have.
But people aren’t asking what real masculinity is. They jump right into the problem and say how do we fix it. Well my first suggestion is do some internal reflection, study, pray, and figure it out. I have been doing this for multiple years. And I am just now coming up with a clearer picture of what it means to be masculine in this society.
And when I say come up with your own definition I don’t mean any of that relativistic BS. I mean if we are all seeking this from the Lord our definitions should look very similar.
#11 3 Posts On This
You are right that we need to ask what biblical masculinity is. I posted on that already in 3 posts....
http://mattfarina.com/2007/02/19/biblical_masculinity_part_1
http://mattfarina.com/2007/02/21/biblical_masculinity_part_2
http://mattfarina.com/2007/02/26/biblical_masculinity_part_3
There's scripture references and everything.